watch out with your joke phrases lest you too become the sort of person whose instinctive default greeting is “hail and well met” and whose default goodbye is “smell you later”
I was looking at a Discord server and they had a channel called #execution. The mods would @ someone they found annoying and everyone could give reasons why they should be banned. The accused got the opportunity to beg for mercy.
love david and goliath being like one of the main bible stories for kids. like yeah you might be small but with god on your side you can kill someone with a rock
i am. so sorry if i have ever used the phrase “i have an au where—” and led you to believe that there is an actual fic out there for you to read rather than, at best, a post where i explain the concept, and at worst it is simply something that lives in my brain
Just ate an entire pear that was so good and so juicy i started gnawing on it with both hands like an animal and the face my supervisor made when he passed by my desk while I was absolutely consumed by my pear fueled bacchanal was Something i have never seen someone look so tired and also so upset and also also so envious
Had another pear today it was even JUICIER than the pear I had yesterday and had to eat over my trashcan so I didn’t get juice all over myself and while I was hunched over lost in the sauce I heard the deepest sigh and when I looked up my supervisor was standing over me like
ALT
